If I hear that hammer hit the wall once more I am going to squeeze Dick until I cant squeeze any more ! Enough already with the bam bam shit. My fucking head hurts and get off your sisters !!
My apologies to my followers for my sudden disappearance. It has been a rough go but change is in the air and all the assholes are growing well and becoming that much more independent. T.F.G
As much as I enjoy writing I do find it difficult to find the time, so once again I must leave you to attend to an neurotic baby. A characteristic they undoubtedly got from me.
Oh and Dick is great. I haven't mentioned often how sweet he is but between the sister beatings, stealing their toys and then giving them back to steal them again, the temper tantrums, throwing his food, toys and of course banging everything possible on the wall he is pretty damn sweet.
And Boo and Hog, well and growing. They too are pretty special.
Better watch out Dick, one days those bitches are going to KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I will survive
I don't think I can even begin to explain the hell I am living these days. Who ever said it got easier as they got older is A FRUITEN LIAR! I have all 3 with me this week and lets just say there isn't just 3 crying. I am at a complete loss at how to sooth 3 babes in hysteria , the math just doesn't add up.
Oh and to add to the hell, they are all Freaken sick. WTF ! Is this pay back for my unconventional ways? Does our higher being hate me that much that he has sicked 3 unruly children upon me.....
I really really HATE MY FUCKING LIFE. Did I mention I hate my life....
No place like home, no place like home, I love motherhood, I love my children, I will survive, oh god I hope I survive, will I survive, I love motherhood!
Thank goodness I love my children ;)
Oh and to add to the hell, they are all Freaken sick. WTF ! Is this pay back for my unconventional ways? Does our higher being hate me that much that he has sicked 3 unruly children upon me.....
I really really HATE MY FUCKING LIFE. Did I mention I hate my life....
No place like home, no place like home, I love motherhood, I love my children, I will survive, oh god I hope I survive, will I survive, I love motherhood!
Thank goodness I love my children ;)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
No words
I have not been able to blog lately as MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!!
It has been a challenging week and am happy to see that hope may be in the air.
Hog has chosen to protest all naps, she even punched me the other day. I had a child in my arms from sunrise to sundown and all through the fucking night. Just go to sleep will you !
As I said, hope has entered the picture and the Hog is sleeping. Thank FUCKING god.
Other than that, things are ok. Dick is like a cat on nip but manageable. His Stewy antics have some what subsided but he does manage to be a DICK at least 20% of the time. Dick or not he has my heart.
Boo is being Boo, my easy Boo.
I have to go, fuck shit I hear the HOG !
It has been a challenging week and am happy to see that hope may be in the air.
Hog has chosen to protest all naps, she even punched me the other day. I had a child in my arms from sunrise to sundown and all through the fucking night. Just go to sleep will you !
As I said, hope has entered the picture and the Hog is sleeping. Thank FUCKING god.
Other than that, things are ok. Dick is like a cat on nip but manageable. His Stewy antics have some what subsided but he does manage to be a DICK at least 20% of the time. Dick or not he has my heart.
Boo is being Boo, my easy Boo.
I have to go, fuck shit I hear the HOG !
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
My heart
I love my husband. I love my children. I love you all yes I do.
My body may ache and my head may hurt, my words may be foul and my discriptions sometimes shallow but I love you all yes I do.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Armageddon
Today was Armageddon.
I felt like I was back on the birthing table listening to my daughters first cry's. How precious you say....Wrong! OMG............hurry up and fucking talk because your malfunction needs repair and I need to know how to fix it!!!!
My poor Hog was awakened by the damn cleaners and she was pissed. Luckily papa arrived and rocked that punk to sleep, only by that time I was on the verge of a break down and was the one in need of being rocked. And shit it still wasn't 19:30 Chardonnay time.
I soothed myself by going into a catatonic state of numbness only to be ripped away from that by a flying water bottle. "fuck, who let Dick out of the closet!" as I quickly do a survey to ensure Boo's head was still intact.
Survey says : 1 child asleep in papas arms, another going ape shit in kitchen ,oh and there is the 3rd wondering "who the hell are these fucks". FML
19:45 has arrived and all assholes are accounted for and sleeping.
I survived today's Armageddon.
I felt like I was back on the birthing table listening to my daughters first cry's. How precious you say....Wrong! OMG............hurry up and fucking talk because your malfunction needs repair and I need to know how to fix it!!!!
My poor Hog was awakened by the damn cleaners and she was pissed. Luckily papa arrived and rocked that punk to sleep, only by that time I was on the verge of a break down and was the one in need of being rocked. And shit it still wasn't 19:30 Chardonnay time.
I soothed myself by going into a catatonic state of numbness only to be ripped away from that by a flying water bottle. "fuck, who let Dick out of the closet!" as I quickly do a survey to ensure Boo's head was still intact.
Survey says : 1 child asleep in papas arms, another going ape shit in kitchen ,oh and there is the 3rd wondering "who the hell are these fucks". FML
19:45 has arrived and all assholes are accounted for and sleeping.
I survived today's Armageddon.
Sweetness
Today was a good day. There were no bitch slaps , there were no flying swords, there were I love yous and hugs. Okay maybe a few flying swords but all in all Dick, Hog & Boo were pretty much all sweetness.
Today as in yesterday. F*!k
Today as in yesterday. F*!k
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The Killing Machine
My DS (darling son) throws his toys, throws his sippy cup, throws his food and even trys to throw his sweet sisters. Where he is trying to throw all these things I just don't know but I am going to throw him right out the fucking door !!!!
I mean really , how do you discipline a 20 month old who really honestly just doesn't give a shit. I am at the end of my rope with this positive parenting shit, "sweetheart, we don't throw our toys, we play with them. Like this darling....darling look at mama, sweety look at mama, DICK look at mama, FOR FUCK SAKES WILL YOU LOOK AT MAMA!"
Positive parenting yeah right.... I am about to throw that sippy cup right back at him and I have better aim ! God love him.
I must admit for a 20 month old his aim is actually very good. 80% of the time he throws something at the girls he usually hits his target.
Oh my favorite is when he bitch slaps me. But according to the new age parenting style I am to take that bitch slap and shove it up my ass where it can hang out for a while until the next bitch slap comes. And when my ass is full of bitch slaps I will have a bitchin bowel movement to make room for more bitch slaps.
It amazes me the control our children have over us parents today. Good for you kids !!
But like a good new age positive parenting mother I stick to the ways of today, and I gently explain that it is not ok to hit , that it hurts mama , blah blah blah. I am about to vomit.
I find the things that get me through these moments are the little lies I tell myself, the little self talk I have in my head, the words of encouragement I repeat, "I love motherhood, this is all temporary, he is not Stewy , he loves me, I am a good mother , I love motherhood, I love motherhood, no place like home , no place like home, fuck I am home , fuck Dick is still throwing his toys, fuck I really did have 3 kids, I love motherhood."
That's all I have to say about that.
I mean really , how do you discipline a 20 month old who really honestly just doesn't give a shit. I am at the end of my rope with this positive parenting shit, "sweetheart, we don't throw our toys, we play with them. Like this darling....darling look at mama, sweety look at mama, DICK look at mama, FOR FUCK SAKES WILL YOU LOOK AT MAMA!"
Positive parenting yeah right.... I am about to throw that sippy cup right back at him and I have better aim ! God love him.
I must admit for a 20 month old his aim is actually very good. 80% of the time he throws something at the girls he usually hits his target.
Oh my favorite is when he bitch slaps me. But according to the new age parenting style I am to take that bitch slap and shove it up my ass where it can hang out for a while until the next bitch slap comes. And when my ass is full of bitch slaps I will have a bitchin bowel movement to make room for more bitch slaps.
It amazes me the control our children have over us parents today. Good for you kids !!
But like a good new age positive parenting mother I stick to the ways of today, and I gently explain that it is not ok to hit , that it hurts mama , blah blah blah. I am about to vomit.
I find the things that get me through these moments are the little lies I tell myself, the little self talk I have in my head, the words of encouragement I repeat, "I love motherhood, this is all temporary, he is not Stewy , he loves me, I am a good mother , I love motherhood, I love motherhood, no place like home , no place like home, fuck I am home , fuck Dick is still throwing his toys, fuck I really did have 3 kids, I love motherhood."
That's all I have to say about that.
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