Armageddon

Today was Armageddon.

 I felt like I was back on the birthing table listening to my daughters first cry's. How precious you say....Wrong! OMG............hurry up and fucking talk because your malfunction needs repair and I need to know how to fix it!!!!

My poor Hog was awakened by the damn cleaners and she was pissed. Luckily papa arrived and rocked that punk to sleep, only by that time I was on the verge of a break down and was the one in need of being rocked. And shit it still wasn't 19:30 Chardonnay time.
 I soothed myself by going into a catatonic state of numbness only to be ripped away from that by a flying water bottle. "fuck, who let Dick out of the closet!" as I quickly do a survey to ensure Boo's head was still intact.
Survey says : 1 child asleep in papas arms, another going ape shit in kitchen ,oh and there is the 3rd wondering "who the hell are these fucks". FML

19:45 has arrived and all assholes are accounted for and sleeping.

I survived today's Armageddon.